Never meet your idols
or if you do
have something to say to them,
for gods’ sakes.
Don’t just murmur,
“I really loved your work
in Three’s Company, Mister Roper,”
with your eyes on your shoes
and your mouth dry as crud.

Be intriguing.
Be something they’ll be able to talk about
or talk to
or buy drinks for
or go to a Meeting with.

Be prepared
when you meet Tom Lehrer
– and act fast, for gods’ sakes.
The man is 95. Time is short,
and he’s probably heard every compliment in the book
and every clever line under the sun.

But never meet your idols
and if you’ve got to,
have something for them to sign
and bring a Sharpie
because they don’t always carry one with them.