One day you’re going to have to take a good hard look
and ask yourself why you haven’t yet produced any art about Spider-Man.
It’s not like he defined the Marvel way of life
but he is the most important character
in the most important comic franchise
in the most important country
in the most important planet
in the most important solar system
(since it’s got Spider-Man in it)!
Something must be said.

He’s kind of a big deal.
He’s the little guy writ large in broad strokes
using a creepy figure to make the underdog
someone we can all root for.
How can you not have taken him under your wing
and made him your own?
For gods’ sake, what’s stopping you?

Spider-Man is one of the most responsible guys on the block.
He won’t let anyone get hurt on his watch
even though he’s just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
If a friendly neighborhood Soviet Union comes his way,
he’s honor-bound to try to take it on.
And he’ll win. That’s what he’s like! He’s that cool.
But he always suffers. People around him die
by the bucketload.
Pathos aplenty, is what I’m saying.
There’s so much dramedy with the kid.
You can’t go wrong.

I’m telling you:
if you know what you’re doing
you have to figure out what’s wrong with you
that you haven’t taken a stab
at writing an opera
or painting a triptych
or dancing an architecture about this dude.
You better get with the program
and get working on something;
it’ll just be fantastic!