My Grandmother didn’t take care of me often.
This might be because
when my Grandfather died
she was moved down to Florida
like a good Jewish Grandma is supposed to be.

It might also be
before toilet training
(mine, I assume)
she just left me commando
and when I had to go
she threw diapers my way
and hoped she hit where I would inadvertently aim.

It seemed irresponsible then
or so my mother told me
(my memories of those days
are slightly shaky)
but as I age
I wonder if Grandma was on to something.

I’m thinking
as I age on
maybe I can save a shitload on Depends.
Especially if the world goes the way
we most expect it to
with the collapse of civilization
and the common things that bind us
like plumbing and pleather
dissipating like the platypus and Plutarch.

If it’s all circling the drain,
then what’s to get pissed about?
Nothing.
Just throw the diapers my way
every now and again.
That’ll do it, I figure.
Good enough for Grandma,
good enough for me.