The mercenary corps’ prices have gotten so affordable
that just about anyone can invest in the new War-In-A-Store products
available almost everywhere these days.
It’s getting so that these newfangled AI can produce a fully-functional army
in just a couple of moments
so that when you’re ready to fuck up your neighbor
for parking a couple of inches on your grass,
you can go to town!

Just program in the size of conflagration you want your boys to start and
KAPOW! The battle has begun.
If you don’t want to hear that loud music at night, send off a sniper and
SNKR! The offending enemy has been taken care of.

But the real beauty happens when your neighbor ALSO buys War-In-A-Store.
Then you can both set your products to AI compete – without even opening the box!
Just let them compute the battle until they establish the winner
and you and your neighbor discover who
gets their head removed.

It’s great times with War-In-A-Store, available everywhere that stuff is sold.
Ask for it by name.