She loved Jane’s Addiction
and I loved her
all too recently
so in her honor I went to the Jane’s Addiction show at the Colosseum. I was feeling lonely
and I wanted to remember
and maybe to dance.

This was around their third album,
when Jane was at the height of their powers,
with “Been Caught Stealing” running up the charts,
so posers like me could get on the bandwagon
and think about yesterday’s girlfriend.

The compact four-piece exploded
onto the stage
with the mosh pit ignited just about immediately.
I was thrown into it joyously.
I noticed Dave from a distance.
Dave was the boyfriend after me.
He was her best friend
always lurking, always supportive,
who became something else
after I was out of the picture.
I didn’t think Laurie was in town for the show,
but Dave was clearly enjoying Jane
in her place
just like me.
I would keep my distance.

Dave did not.

I found myself pushed by Dave.

In a mosh pit, where bodies are regularly shoved,
things happen by accident all the time.
I was pushed by Dave again.

Of course accidents happen.
Coincidences abound.
Dave ran into me.
Oh, come on!

I didn’t get this.
Dave and I were never tight
but what issue would he have with me now?
He won!
He had the girl.

I wanted to fight back
but he was bigger than me
and I didn’t think being caught
in active violence would be good for me.
Laurie wouldn’t like it.

I got out of the mosh pit
and watched the rest of the show
from the back of the room.

It was really rare back then
for me to do the mature thing.
I wonder if I was sick.