I like myself. I do! I’ve got self-esteem issues,
but I think I’m a smart, funny,
caring personality,
I’m engaging, and if I’m interested in talking to you
we can have a lot of fun.
I’ve come into myself over the years.

Still, it bums me out to think that
if my big crush in high school were to see me again,
I’d probably be the same bumbling fool I was all those years ago.
Some patterns are hard to break.
I was creepy then.
I’m much less creepy now,
but I’m sure it still comes out.

I’m sure she would remember me that way.
I’m sure writing about her
generations later
would not help me
in being less of the bumbling fool
should we ever meet again.

There’s little chance of us catching up.
A private eye friend
couldn’t find anything on her.
The trail is just too cold.

So it’s just as well
that I haven’t kept up
on my rehearsals
of what to say for our eventual reunion.
The clothes I bought for it
probably wouldn’t fit anymore, anyway.
The outfit for her was maybe a little inappropriate.

So the fact that we won’t meet
is probably for the best.