It has been hard to focus lately
because it has been hard to wake up lately
because it has been hard to go to sleep lately
because it has been hard to settle my stomach lately
because it has been hard to say no to any foods being offered lately.

It may be that a lack of concentration has been making it harder
to say no to the plethora of foods being offered to me lately
but probably, it’s just about gluttony.

Also, there have been times, the last couple of days,
when I know I don’t really want to eat again,
but it seems socially difficult to not be knoshing,
gnashing my teeth,
joshing around the table with friends.

I’m out with someone, and they’re ordering food,
and I can’t just sit there, staring at them.
So I order twenty buffalo wings, to be polite,
even though I’d just had breakfast
half an hour before.

These are behaviors I thought I had put behind me
but these are now behaviors
that I’m putting before me
into my stomach.

I am not proud
but I am not stopping
and because of it
I am not sleeping well.