I have been told there are lists of
one hundred albums you should listen to
one hundred books to reads
one hundred
works of art to experience.

I have also seen some say
that you must experience life
rather than sticking your head in books,
or albums or museums.

Now, far be it from me
to be one to judge
but I thought I might be able to provide
a template of some general activities
one might be able to complete
if they wished.
After completing, say,
fifteen of these universal experiences one could then
get down to the artistic canon
without any guilt or shame.

1. Worked with migrant day-workers for pennies while a minor.

2. Failed Physical Education by taking a political stand for a cause that has since become mainstream acceptable.

3. Formed a business with migrant workers at age 12 that provided a path to citizenship for many illegals.

4. Received early acceptance to West Point but opted to go to a Learn to Draw Comic Books program instead.

5. Met a YouTube celeb and asked them to take a picture of you with your girlfriend.

6. Dated two twins, got into farcical hi-jinks trying to keep them separate while keeping dates with them both the same night.

7. Maintained friendship with a celebrated artist but never bothered to delve into that artist’s work – somehow we never discussed the issue.

8. Became the object of adoration of the leader of a world religion.

9. Became object of contempt for the leader of a small tropical dictatorship.

10. Transformed a homeless beggar into a television producer at age 12.

13. The following: blacks, Jews, gays, cripples, musicians, lawyers, the autistic, philosophers, the differently-abled, socialites, religious leaders and the homeless, describe people in your circle of debtors.

14. Knew at least three people who dated Donald Trump’s hair stylist.

15. Studied how to cheat the Tax Code.

16. Bought a mirror at a yard sale, only to sell it the next week for quintuple the price, making the original seller look like an IDIOT!

17. Go dancing in a foreign city, only to discover that John Travolta had snorted cocaine there the night before!

18. Officiated a same sex wedding in Austin.

19. Although a devout vegan, was forced to tear the throat out of a wild boar in self defense.

20. When asked to write your own memoir, have frequently replied, “Why ever would I do that?
I’m certain your own life has to be far more interesting!”