When I’m at an open mic
– which I am,
like, most of the time –
and I find that it’s getting late
and I haven’t gone on yet,
I have to start doing the math:

“If I go on in ten minutes,
I then have to stay
about an hour afterwards
because otherwise I’m an asshole.

“But if the thing is winding down by then
and there are only two or three more acts
then I have to stay for them, too,
because it would be an asshole move
to abandon them
when they stayed for everyone else
– unless they came later in the night
and only signed up after they just dropped in
hours after the open mic started.

Then THEY’RE the assholes!”

Of course, since I arrive pretty early
most of the time
I tend to get on pretty early
but there are some open mics
that have a random sign up
so it doesn’t matter when you arrive
and then there are some crazy popular open mics
where even if you arrive promptly,
there are people who arrive super-promptly
and you’re just shit out of luck.

I haven’t been able to do the math for those situations yet.
I’m just an artist after all
– an artist who risks being an asshole.