I resented Mark not reaching out to me
back when he was going through so much shit.
He should have been a better friend
when he was so troubled, I thought.

I didn’t quite take into account
how much turmoil he was going through
when his mother was failing
and he was staying just a couple of feet ahead
of institutionalization himself.

I was thinking “Why isn’t he calling me back?
Why can’t he be bothered?”

There was a lot I didn’t understand back then.
Still the case,
but I think I understand
that I don’t understand now.

I’m not sure Mark knows
how unforgiving I was at this time
he was at his lowest
so I hope word doesn’t get back to him somehow
and everyone can keep their yaps shut.