Yes, I did it.
I committed the crime
did the time
stopped the mime from his fucking acts of terror
before a helpless community.
I got the improv troupe to quit it, too.

Is it too much to call me a hero
the people’s prince
a vanguard of the hopes and wishes of a generation?
Hardly, but
I am far too modest
to suggest such a thing.

You can call me what you want.
Personally, I lean toward “Glorious One,”
but “Mister Berger” will do
in a pinch.
I’m not the sort of guy
to make a big deal
about what he’s called.
You can call me “Late For Dinner,”
so long as you put “Master” at the start of it.