When Crazy Grandma dies
and you have to come up with the right words to say
because people will be asking at the wake
and you want to seem respectful
but she’s been crazy as long as you’ve been alive
and you liked her all right
but it’s not like you had that much to talk about.

Like, you’d say, "Hey Grams!"

and she’d say, "The waffles are coming in from Left Gnosha today!"
and you’re wondering if this is a delivery service from a store
or a place or a state of mind
and you don’t even like waffles
you prefer crêpes.

So you wonder and you plan
and you come up with a phrase or three
so in case anyone corners you
or if God forbid
someone calls you up
you’ve got something prepped
but then there’s a round robin

and everybody takes turns saying something
and they’re all variations of

"Crazy Grandma sure is crazy!"
only it’s was, because a heart attack on the toilet
is no joke.

So everybody talks
no one is looking at you special
and you don’t have to worry

when you pop your couple of words
into the mix.
It works out pretty well.

Crazy Grandma sure is crazy.
Was.

That’ll do