There is a right and just way to do things
and I try to follow it.
What gets problematic
is when I try to… encourage others
to follow the right and just way, as well.

For the most part,
I’ve got a live and let live approach to life
so when someone won’t let folks
live and let live
I just want to shake ’em until they see the error of their ways.

I was in the park and I saw this kid running into a pile of pigeons.
He was scaring them.
Those poor pigeons!
I wanted to show the kid what it would feel like
by running and raging at him, full-speed.
I was able to temper my urge.
I haven’t been to the park since.

When I’m on the bus and someone takes an aisle seat
so that no one can get in to the window
I make a point to bustle on past them
sticking my butt in their face repeatedly.
When I am capable of farting on cue, I do so.
I’ve only been bloodied twice in the process
– only once with my own blood.

I try to be a paragon
of what I want to see
but if nobody knows just how humble I am,
how can they compliment me on it?