Ask Jeeves told me quite clearly
when I asked years ago
that Door Close buttons on elevators
are not effective.
They simply serve as placebos,
making the user feel like they’ve done something
to change their state of affairs.

I read it quite clearly.
It must be true
yet every time I see my mother push the Door Close button on her elevator
the door closes immediately after.
Without fail.

I have heard it said that correlation does not imply causation.
I might have even bought the bumper sticker once.
Still, that correlation seems to be at a hundred percent,
and not pushing the button leaves us sitting waiting for the door to close.

I’d ask Jeeves about that phenomenon,
were Jeeves still around to ask.