Oh my God! Please come in! Take your coatcheck, right here.
What a familiar, lovely couple do you two appear.
Thanks for stopping in tonight. I hope we got what you want.
Take the window. You’ll look great in this Italian restaurant.
So you’ve probably heard about my old pal BJ,
he used to know a lot of people from around this way
but he got into some trouble with the wrong kinda folks.
Just a little too unserious; telling wrong kinda jokes.

He was an innocent man with a piano in his hands.
But that did not matter at all, and he had to take the fall.
He was an innocent man, but he got lost in someone’s plans
and in a sea of schemes, he drowned on rivers of dreams.

See, BJ played to novelists, entertainers and such
as well as the Outfitted, who came in for a touch
of the good stuff we’d provide when they asked real nice
but BJ didn’t treat them special. He gave a cold shoulder – with ice.
The Outfit boys didn’t appreciate the way they were treated.
They asked ole BJ for a warmer reception – You know: heated.
Even their boss came up to him. Said, “You know who I am?”
BJ looked him up and down and guessed: “Some failed diaphragm?”

He was an innocent man before his troubles began
but then his big smart mouth got him sent down South
though he was innocent, man. He still got sent down by van.
He didn’t have any hope because he’d been such a dope.

So the Outfit framed Piano Boy in a little crime.
The cops were told to lock him up for the longest time.
It was such easy money, the cops did as they were told
and BJ went to prison until he’d be really old.
He didn’t like it inside, but as if it were fate,
he discovered lockup had a set of eighty eights
so he could play to heart’s content right there in the pokey.
So you doin’ good tonight? You want to try the gnocchi?