Your head hurts
but you’ve gotta get it together.
There are things that need to happen
with no one else
prepared to do them.
This is no night for lolly-gagging
– or some other word that actually made it
into the twenty-first century.

You’ve been told to provide the laughs
as if there’s a simple formula for that.
Well, maybe there is:
insert cream pie onto unsuspecting face.
Laughs ensues.

Tools are required, though.
“Who’s got my beautiful pie?”
“Who’s got my unsuspecting face?”

No, this will not do.
You haven’t the materials or the temperament to comedy on the spot
– not on command like this.
Unless you pull down your host’s pants.
“Punch up!” They always say.
That should do it.
Not sure you’d be rewarded the way you’d hope, though.

Why do these assignments come like this?
Last minute,
no preparation,
no support?

Of course, here is the opportunity to grow.
To achieve great things.
Here is where you can make a stand,
make a mark.
Make ’em laugh.
Just vomit on the spot.
That’ll get ‘er done.
Trust yourself.
Have you ever steered yourself wrong?

Well, all right, but today?

Well, all right, but this hour?

Fine, I got nothing.