Someone’s got to wash the dishes.
Someone’s got to sweep the floors.
Someone’s got to be the one
to be responsible, of course.
If anyone should be that person,
I would like to volunteer
to be the one to point the finger
to you as the choice premier.

You would be the perfect person
to take reins on doing stuff.
I would love to try myself,
but I’d not do it well enough.
So I’m afraid it’s you or no one
– lest you’ve got a candidate
who you think could do it better?
One you think would be first rate.

Who would be a steadfast spirit?
Who could be responsible?
Who would come home, fumigate it,
clean our house by the roomful?
Who would serve us, do our bidding?
Who will be our patsy now?
Surely somewhere there’s a sucker
Who will take our shilling now?

If you cannot find one better,
then I guess you’ll have to do.
After all, it’s like I said,
no one works better than you!
Take it as a compliment;
you really serve as flunky well.
Just imagine what you’d do
should you ever learn to spell!

Oh, I’m sorry! That was rude.
I didn’t know your letters known.
Your numbers, too? How marvelous!
I didn’t realize castes had grown
industrious. How charming! Still,
the work you do need not require
you to do much more than clean
and burn your dead around this pyre.

I hope you’re be a steadfast servant,
a boy who is responsible,
a youth who can do what their told
and take instructions long and full.
Can you listen, do my bidding,
and obey at my address?
So listen well, and tell me know:
Is your answer “No” or “Yes”?