Late nights, with less distractions,
I hunt your history
and it sometimes succumbs to me,
providing details I had not previously found
or have lost in stupors.

I look for you and hope to find aspects
that will explain
what you never did.
Why you are gone.
Why you could not remain
with any of your partners
long enough
for me to find answers through them.

I have asked myself enough times
to understand you
and gotten nowhere.

Perhaps
there are further secrets to uncover,
somewhere other than your beginning.
I shall hunt further for them.