When I had my existential crisis
and couldn’t remember how to do my job
(basically, I didn’t get enough sleep
and forgot a bunch of computer key combinations,
then freaked out), I tried to close my eyes and meditate.

Then I started to think about the universe
and the real freakout happened.

I wondered where I was,
if I’d ever in fact been attached to reality,
and whether the things I’d spent my time doing
were not only significant, but part of the existence
that others recognized as occurring.

For moments,
I wasn’t sure if I was cognizant of a shared world with others,
or if I had only been spinning in my own personal cosmos.
It was soul-shakingly scary

but it was only for a few minutes,
and when I woke up from seemed to be the catnap,
I felt a whole bunch better.

The existential crisis – the worst of it – had passed
and I tried to get back to work.
I still couldn’t perform worth shit,
but I was in control enough to realize I couldn’t do my job,
and that was better than I’d been all day,
so that was an improvement.

I took the rest of the day off
and began to reassert reality
one wink at a time.

Forty winks later, I was feeling all right.