I didn’t come to the open mics
with poetry in hand.
I originally came to listen,
to find acts I could watch
and maybe follow to full-length shows,
like how I’d seen Gene & Mimi.
I knew they had played the Monday Night AntiHoot, so I thought I’d check it out.

It took me a year or two
to transition from loyal audience member
to tentative performer,
doing random ridiculous cover material,
from children’s read-aloud stories
to cartoon introductions
and nothing in between.
From there, I needed to figure out how to develop my own material,
so I started staring creepily at women.

That was the inspiration for my early writing,
and continues to inspire me
to this very day.
Open mics are my bread and butter,
and by this I mean
I am fatter than I want to be.
I read my own material at open mics now,
and think back on those days when I read other people’s material.
Should I return to those earlier traits?

No, I am a far better writer than anyone else.