“I’ve got a thousand dollars
I’d like to invest in you,
and I’ve got a few thoughts
as to what you should do…”

“That’s not a deal I’m ready to make
you’ve got to pay more for my soul to take.
My price is much higher if you want a cut.
If you offer that little, you can kiss my butt.”

And that’s a lousy rhyme, but that’s what you get for the price, baby.
You talk bigger dollars, I’ll totally sell out.
My soul’s on the line, I just need a better payout.

“I’ll give you ten thousand bucks -”
“That’s a better ballpark,
but let me cut the chase, with limited snark.
We need an order of magnitude shift in the room
else the changes you want are gonna die in the womb.”

“But they’re really small things -”
“-and I’d love to hear,
but I really wanna make sure that you hear this clear:
if your team and I aren’t on the same page
about my whoring rate, well, I’m about to rage.
You add another zero there, it’s still not enough.
If you insult like that, it’s about to get rough.
Two zeros, though, we can start to talk.
Three zeros, though, I’m about to be bought!”

“I don’t believe I have that kind of budget for an artist.”
“OK, I see, I think I understand.
You wanna haggle a bit, with your bag in hand?
Well, on another day, you can bring in your firm
and tell me what you want, and we can then talk terms!”

“I’m not entirely sure what is happening now…”
“Yo, you can believe that!
Word…”