It is time, I am told, to forgive.
It is an assignment.
An exercise for the art.

I know it is good for me
good for relationships.

I know it allows healing to forgive,
that it only allows pain to fester
when you hold onto enmity,
and that forgiveness will let new growth begin.

I know I will be a better person by forgiving.
I know it’s an exercise,
and I know I can choose who I forgive.
It’s a theoretical fucking situation
but I do not forgive.

I hold on to my grudges.
I remember what people did.
I take note of the offenses made against me.
They are in my book
and they will be recalled
if there is ever an opportunity
to do anything about it.

I am not cruel
but I am not forgiving.