In response, I just wanted to say that
you never understood me,
or who I was, or what I wanted to do.

It’s hard to believe you were my pediatrician
for twenty eight years, but consider this
my letter of resignation as your patient.

You were never my favorite doctor,
and I feel this is probably the right time to tell you
that I have been seeing the dentist on the side
for at least four years now.
Her bedside manner is much saltier than yours.

If I had one bit of advice
I could impart to you
before saying final farewells
and never speaking to each other ever again,
it’s that sugar free lollipops are not as great an incentive for good behavior
after you’re fourteen years old.
Just a word to the wise.

Please send all records to Doctor Sheila Riccardi, DDS.