Knowing someone on Broadway offers less opportunities than you’d think.
You’d figure – you’d hope –
it would mean endless opportunities for plus ones to glamorous parties
and tickets to amazing shows.
Tickets, at least to the person’s shows, at least.

No, your friend wants you to pay for their show,
the bastard.
That way, they get paid, in turn.
It’s not fair to you, of course,
but do they ever think about that?
Never.

You hope maybe you’ll get one of those “I Heart NY” keychains
sometime, but even that proves to be too much.
Not even a discount.

An autograph from a well-heeled chorus boy?
Not on your life.

These things don’t come your way,
when you know the right people.
Maybe you just need to know the “right” right people.
If you do, let me know, so I can leave mine behind.