While moving and grooving through Seussity Hills,
a whimpering beasty had Whompity thrills.
He found some young ladies who had lovely hairs
so he went up behind them and pulled upon theirs.

Now that wasn’t cool out in Seussity Hills,
nor the Corporated Township of Geiselted Mills,
within which the Hills were quite well positioned
and the whimpering beasty had been decommissioned.

The beasty, a boy once of fine good repute
had begun one who’d be game to cause a dispute
so he’d take someone’s candy right out of their box
or he’d call peoples’ names or pull at girls’ locks.

So the coppers, a pair of good-doers two,
came out for the beasty to take him in, over do.
They whirled out of Cop-Bank, and they were not late.
Their names were Cop Seven and their pal, Cop Eight.

These authorities came to bring said beasty in
for the crime of behaving in ways so like sin
so they grabbed on the hands that had grabbed on the gals,
Thus the beasty was carried by the two cop pals.

To Geiselted Cop-Bank the three of them went
and into the slammer the beasty was sent.
His name was recorded for everyone to hear:
“Behind bars shall go one Sir Gullivar Salzyir.”

The shame for Sir Gullivar was within bounds.
This wasn’t his first time being placed with the hounds
nor the last, he suspected, hearing bar-ringing sounds.
He just took it in stride; he’d soon be buying all rounds!

“Cop Eight, Cop Seven!” he said to the guards,
“will there be a chance to go walk in the yards?
For I’ve not yet had a chance to stretch legs.
Help a bro out? Oh, do be good eggs.”

The officers saw little reason to dissent,
since Salzyir had tipped them well, they were for rent
so they followed his orders and did what he bid
and he went to the yard and out of jail he slid.

So to Suessity Hills went Gullivar, ho!
Quick as a wink back to crime did he go!
To harrass young women was all that he planned.
Back to bother Samantha. Off to poke at Sweet Ann!

Perhaps there’s a lesson to find in the Mills
of the Geiselted sort there in Seussity Hills.
Maybe you can say that corruption is bad
but if you learned it here, I must say, that’s quite sad.