Before he stole the paper,
he was warned to keep his nose clean.
His horoscope read “Heed the advice of others; it will serve you well.”
His girlfriend Julie Rodriguez looked at him lovingly and said, “Let’s make a baby.”

Instead, James A. said to himself,
“Time to do something incredibly stupid,”
and he got away from everyone as fast as he could.

It took him no time to find himself in front of the Royal Harem Building.
Supposedly impregnable, he sized it up and said, “I could get in in about fifteen minutes.”
He didn’t have anyone to impress by saying it, but even to the air,
it sounded like bullshit boasting. He felt he had something to prove.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” James muttered to no one but himself,
as he started to scale the side of the building.
This wasn’t going to go anywhere good.

It got him inside the building, though it took him about fifty five minutes, not fifteen.
Security was tighter than he imagined,
His skills were pretty substantial, too.
Once inside, James A. scoped out what was available.
He spotted the primary Harem Room,
where the women (and occasional man) awaited selection
by the King.
He suspected that was the most dangerous room in the place
but maybe not the most interesting.

He wondered what else there might be to see.
A less exotic door struck him as enticing, so he cracked its code
and entered.
It was someone’s personal room.
From the looks, it was a woman’s (not much of a surprise)
who was high up in the social order.

“What is the meaning of this?” shouted a commanding voice,
spinning James one hundred and eighty at once.
What he saw was the most beautiful woman
he had ever laid eyes upon
a glorious brunette,
radiant with anger
at being shocked in her home.

Shocked, too, was James.

“What are you doing here?” The brunette reiterated.
“Why are you in my room?”
“Forgive me, madam, I just wanted to make your acquaintance.”
The lady, unfamiliar with his sly talk, was soon taken in.

When James was finally discovered in the gorgeous lady’s room,
he was prepared to die a happy man.
Such was not going to occur,
but what he had seen
would not be repeated,
as his eyes were plucked
and provided to fish for food.

The Last Vision of James Amacadillo
was to be of the latest bride of the King,
who received a quick and quiet annulment,
and an offer of resettlement to any other kingdom in reach.