There once was a little boy who never bent, not in any way.
He was ramrod straight, and never deviated from any position
at any time.

This was very hard on his family,
particularly his mother.
From the start,
those around him found him difficult
to get along with.

“Would you like an apple, Billy?”
“William. And you know I only consume breast milk.”
“You’re eight, William, I haven’t produced milk for years.”
“The neighbor girl looks like a good candidate. Bring her on by.”
“She thirteen. She may not be ovulating yet. I know she hasn’t had children.”
“Look at her tits, though!”
“William, are you sure you’re eight?”

It was strange that that Billy could see the neighbor girl, since the boy couldn’t bend.
He couldn’t leave his bed.
He could only stand if someone pushed him up,
which got harder, the older he got
and, as he was so contrary,
few wished to do anything for him.

“Would you like to hear some music, Bill?”
“It’s William, dammit, and unless the tunes I heard in the womb,
I don’t care for it.”
“What did you hear in the womb, then?”
“Whale sounds.”
“Pardon?”
“Well, they sounded like whale sounds – from the inside.”
“Maybe it’ll sound like that… if we put a bag on your head.
Shall we try?”
They did not try.

The boy who did not bend stayed that way
for a long while,
until someone finally got tired of his antics
and then bent him in two.