I find the greatest joy in the grips of a manic episode.
Not when I’m aware of it, certainly,
but when I find myself losing control
to a certain hysteria,
becoming encircled within swirls
of my own racing thoughts
wondering what, of a hundred things,
I should do,
thinking through a variety of firing synapses,
not sure which pin to prick first.

I think this is the best state.
It is a dangerous state.
It is an unwise state.
It is one that is soon to be followed
by crashes and clashes with authority.

Things will go bad soon after.
Disaster cannot be far behind.
None of this stops it
from being an amazing state
to experience.

I miss the mania.