They say to be authentic,
you must show yourself to be vulnerable,
so herein is where I outline my weaknesses
for anyone to know
my unique authenticity.

I’m ticklish to the point of incontinence,

so I might make a mess if you touch up on me
at the right time.
The window near the kitchen is never locked,
so you could probably break into my apartment that way.
There’s a sock in the sink
where the real goodies are kept.

My password for most everything is Jonst*r#3 It’s #3 because I was brought up not to think too much of myself.
You can write that down.

If you spin me around more than three times
I won’t be standing again for some time.
And speaking of sitting down,
I may have been drinking a little bit
while thinking up this little rinky-dink exposition.

I’m sure I’ll still love the idea in the morning.