My Batman socks do not give me special powers.
It’s stupid to think they would.
Batman is one of the few non-powered people
in all of the Detective Comics Pantheon.
If anything, I’d need Supergirl socks to get something out of it.

But I don’t even gain the will, the wealth, the wondrous purpose that fuels a boy like Batman.
I got some protection for my feet
and maybe a curious sense of fashion.
Nothing else comes to mind.

My Batman socks do not make me a better man
but my Scoobie-Doo socks turn me into quite the hound.