Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

There wasn’t much to talk about. We shot the shit for a good ten minutes but we ran out of the good old days and the people we had in common and the few situations we shared back then and … Continue reading →

In my brain, the cake was unlimited, but that was not reality. It is probably just as well that the cake was limited, for how long could I have had my cake and eaten it, too, and still maintained the … Continue reading →

It’s foolish to think you ever would but I think of you often even after all this time. Every so often, I try to find you and always fail but every day, elsewise, I have you with me even if … Continue reading →

You’ve been drinking water. A lot of water. Enough water to drown a cow, you’ve been drinking. You hope you will see the results you’re looking for: the hunger abatement the cleared complexion the lack of blackouts from dehydration, but … Continue reading →

There are two kinds of people in this world: the categorists and the rest. Of the category-makers, there are two kinds of people: the insane and the rest. Of the insane category-keepers, there are two kinds of people: the anal … Continue reading →

Tense Anniversary On the tenth anniversary of your death I woke up unrefreshed and got to work late. I read a little from the latest Billy Collins but wrote no responses. I took some calls from random customers and had … Continue reading →

My Batman socks do not give me special powers. It’s stupid to think they would. Batman is one of the few non-powered people in all of the Detective Comics Pantheon. If anything, I’d need Supergirl socks to get something out … Continue reading →

I wanted to write something called Scary Monsters but I saw that it’s a David Bowie album. Then I thought about writing Scary Mansions but it’s a 3D video game so I considered writing Scary Manson but that’s pretty tautological … Continue reading →

Our needs are diametric. You need me to increase my attention and I need you to take more responsibility. Our rubber band stretches wobbly and who knows what will snap it? I don’t believe we can sustain this space we’ve … Continue reading →

It was unfortunate, that’s for sure… When we got to Dachau we saw that the guards had been busy carefully killing camp prisoners for days. We were horrified, of course, but keeps our heads about us as we rallied the … Continue reading →