Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

SOCIETAL GPS The time has come for you to take stock of your place in the universe, for you to assess and reassess just where you belong. And then refine your position. Redefine your opinion of yourself. You are no … Continue reading →

MRS. M Mrs Miller, could you tell me when Fiona will be back in town? I really miss her and I kinda wish she’d come back. Have you heard from her or know how she’s doing or whom? I’m sorry. … Continue reading →

METAMORPHOSIS You loved me then when I was young and dangerous and insensitive. You thought I was the cat’s meow or whatever the kids are saying these days and you made me love you, too. It took some time some … Continue reading →

FIVE WORDS If I had five words to say to you I believe they would be: Lithium, endangered, erotic, restraints and order. As it turns out, I only have one more word for you. Would you like to hear it?

Look you’ve got a choice just like everyone else on this flattened sphere: you can sit in a bench in the park all day long feeding pigeons (which also feeds the rats. True story: look it up) or you can … Continue reading →

Refrain if you know what’s good for you. Do not take that sort of tone with New York City. New York doesn’t have to take that kind of shitfrom the likes of you and hasn’t since before you were born. … Continue reading →

Wait: really? You don’t wanna date me? You wouldn’t do me? Really: you? I’m shocked. chagrinned I didn’t realize that I was so beneath you. it’s not like you’re entirely my cup of grog anyway. In fact, I’d only just … Continue reading →