Category Archives: Uncategorized

My aunt just sent me a notice of my bid for North Carolina state office. I had no idea. “In your other life,” she wrote, and I read of my many accomplishments down South. Apparently, the southern Jon Berger has … Continue reading →

I found your note, and I have to say, it was pretty rude to put a message among your underwear telling me not to snoop there. I was just checking for rodents and to see that you had such an … Continue reading →

Pardon me, but you look like a stupider Frank Sinatra, or a healthier Cheetos puff or a wider Frenchie Legume or a shakier uncurable god or a left-leaning Spanakopita Pete. Maybe you’re a less German Donald Drumph or a more … Continue reading →

Soledad strongly suggests strings of offering utterances between leaving what sweets treats bring. This way, sweet and sassy get stuck. Quite-tender met the offensive. Valley peace prevailed forever.

I find the greatest joy in the grips of a manic episode. Not when I’m aware of it, certainly, but when I find myself losing control to a certain hysteria, becoming encircled within swirls of my own racing thoughts wondering … Continue reading →

Hal Sirowitz talks funny. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Jesse Thorne looked funny. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Joseph Heller looked ancient. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Thom Jones read poorly. … Continue reading →

She’s not coming. In a flash you realize this as you gaze out into the depth of night: you will be alone this dawn as you were yesterday. You didn’t notice it then, but you will feel it now. She … Continue reading →

In the darkness, I breathe easily. Sleep comes naturally at night. Gasping isn’t required for an evening’s repose; just softly snoring. I rest well now. Things have changed. I sleep good.

There once was a little boy who never bent, not in any way. He was ramrod straight, and never deviated from any position at any time. This was very hard on his family, particularly his mother. From the start, those … Continue reading →

Yeah, I dunno, I was there, but… I don’t feel good about it. I was a fluffer, I guess, but he said he didn’t need it, and it was true. The guy claimed he could do these girls in an … Continue reading →