jonberger

Your bag of tricks is limited, brother.
Your ways of walking run together, my friend.
I tell this to you with nothing but kindness in my heart,
but my heart feels nothing
when you speak your songs to me today.

You repeat yourself.
You doubt your powers
and strangely
present far too much bravado
in alternating instants.
Your whiplash ego
causes vertigo.

Unasked advice is best unheeded,
I know,
so what I’m doing
defies my creed
but there is a reason
you are alone
in your belief
that your storytelling is unmatched.

It is matched.

It should be set aflame.

Twilight in this part of town looks slate gray
and I’m all alone, got no idea what to say.
Days of old, I used to be a much more active kind of man.
Now I’m just waiting for a plan.

In ‘95 I used to be a more courageous sort
but now all of my schemes and dreams are all set to abort.
Once upon a time, for great adventure I would scan
Now here I am, just waiting for a plan.

A plan is what I’m looking for, but I am unprepared
and if I’m being honest, it’s much more that I am scared
to schedule and prepetrate and put the things in line
so when they finally fall apart the fault will all be mine.

So I stand alone on corners, waiting for my plan
which could have been the place in which this tale had all began. Instead I’ll simply hope and pray as hard as this man can
that planning soon becomes something beneath my own wingspan.

When the ones you like don’t like you
no matter how you try, no matter what you do
it’s a pitiably sordid state in which to stew.

There.
I said it.
I meant it.
I said it in rhyme, so you KNOW I meant it.

It’s frustrating as hell when the ones you like don’t like you back
as if there’s simply something fundamental you lack…
I don’t need to go down this road again, do I?

It might be because you’re so needy around them.
They feel the desperation of your interest, perhaps.
They smell the fear of rejection on your skin.

And maybe that’s what repels you
from those who occasionally like you, in turn.
Could that be it?
It’s the Circle of Like
spinning round and round.
The Circle of Like
going ever down.
It’ll make you frown and take you to town.
It’s the Circle of Like.

I meant that, too.

You know it
because it rhymed.

If you were responsible
if you worked on a regular schedule
if you got up at the right time
took the right vitamins
got the right sort of exercise
you wouldn’t get into this sort of trouble now,
would you?

Would you?

I’d help you,
really I would,
if I didn’t think
that it would more likely
hinder your development
than give you a hand.

I swear
I don’t believe it would do you
a dash of good
to provide you
an ounce of support right about now.

What you need
is a little of the tough love
and, of course,
some heartfelt advice
so you know what to do
next time.

So where was I?
Oh yes:
If I was you…

Your tears
are so sorrowful
and yet so beautiful.
I am shocked
by how overcome I am
by your tears.

Your tears
change the structure of your face.
They mark you,
mapping lines
tracking trails
leaving paths of your pain
rolling along so everybody feels with you
without knowing what went on.
What did go on
to cause your tears?

Your tears
are unfortunate indeed
and I would do anything
to be able to dab your eyes
and erase your tears.

Why do you always do this
making it an Us versus Them
kind of thing?

Does it always have to be a fight?
Must it always be so black and white?
It’s a constant war ‘twixt day and night!

I know you have to stand up for yourself.
I’m proud of you
for always doing that
and I know you want to know
who’s got your back.
I appreciate that,
I do.
I just wish
I didn’t have to get the knives out
and the chains
on so many dastardly occasions.

I’ll do it.
Of course
I’ll do it!
You know I will.
Whenever you need.

It’s just
could you maybe need
a little less?

If I were a Beatle
I’d probably be the bald one
with the poems
and the American accent
who lived a lot later than the other blokes
and was probably a bit less popular.

If I were a Beatle
I doubt I’d get as many songs per album
as John or Paul
but maybe I’d tie with George
and maybe I could work with Ol’ Ritchie
to increase his productivity.

Maybe I could work out more stuff like Flying
or Cry for a Shadow
where the collaborations got crazy,
and the Beatles just twisted expectations, baby!
Maybe I could do that for them.

Yeah, if I was a Beatle
I could shake them up
get them back to their fundaments
return them from whence they came.

I’d be happy to do all that
if I was a Beatle.

The dogs are all right.
The house is doing fine:
Mom healthy as a horse
and Dad is same as he ever was.

There’s nothing to worry about.
Nobody’s in trouble
and nothing is wrong.

It’s just that
it’s been a while since we’ve talked
and Thursdays have been a bit rough lately
and I wondered
if you remembered
going off to Little Schwartz’s on Thursdays
way back then
and how things were going
in your part of the world?

Really
there is no agenda.
I just wanted to talk.

How are you?

Yes, I swear on my mother’s grave;
The dogs are fine…

If I cared more about my job
I wouldn’t be in this position.
If I cared more about my life
I wouldn’t be where I am.
If I cared more about you
I’d probably be with you right about now.
If I cared less about Batman
I definitely wouldn’t have this ratty underwear
I really should get rid of.

If I ate more oatmeal
I might have my blood pressure beat.
If I ate more vegetables
I might consume less red meat.
If I were really slutty
I’d join the Seventh Fleet
and if I practiced my moves
I wouldn’t have two left feet.

But I am what I am
not a Sam or a yam
nor a flim-flam ma’am
with some slammin’ dance-gams
after playing some Wham!

Nope. With no ands, buts or ifs…
With nothing but wishes…
It’s come down to this:
This.

Your brother has three years on you
so will always be ahead:
always more mature
smarter, bigger
faster, taller
more responsible.
Better with the ladies,
better buddies with the boys.

He’s streets ahead
– even aware of references
you’ll never understand
because he got the kiddie filters off the web way earlier.
It’s like it’s not fair
– but it is.
He’s just older.

You can’t compete with this guy
so the thing then
is to not compete.
It’s the zen thing.
It’s the mature thing.
It’s the only thing you can do
to stay in the game
and have a chance to keep up
– at least until you age out to parity.

Good luck.