jonberger

Upset as you are,
you are not stuck.
You have freedom in this thing
and in all others.
You can be free of this situation
quite easily.

Just leave.
You’re not chained here.
You’re not limited
in any of the ways you think you are.
You are light.
You are able.
You are capable.

Look around.
Learn your surroundings.
Become intimate with the environment
and be aware of how you can move.

See?
The Exit sign is broken
but the exit itself
works just fine.
Get out.
You can go
any moment you want.

When you cheat at solitaire
what have you won?
What accomplishments can you claim
when you practice to deceive your own fucking self?
From all your lies
just what have you earned?

If you’re proud of yourself
you haven’t thinking about it hard enough.
Nothing you have done
in the service of this stupid master
will ever come to anything.
Think about what you’ve done.

You’ve won a race
by hobbling your opponents.
You’ve tricked someone into loving s you
that does not exist.
You’ve convinced a blind man
of what you look like.

Are you proud of yourself?
Then think again
more deeply
about what you’ve done.

Knowing that the devil can quote scripture
proves that logic needn’t prove a damned thing
if citing quotes from a book of man
claiming to be the book of God
means anything at all.

So let the geek poetry ring out
as we sing our own pathetic patriot songs.
We shall shout
in our respective echo chambers
confirming every biased liaison
in every busted conspiracy.

We will dance through the hoops
of our own twisted intellects
learning nothing
we didn’t already know
or didn’t want proven.

We have achieved a singular vision
of the present
that provides everyone
exactly what they want.

Science preserve us.

The white bike
on the industrial strip
collects its dust.
No one passes.
No one cares
about the memorial
to the biker lost beneath
the vulcanized rubber
of that fourteen wheeler.

No one comes to see
the blood of this victim.
Even I, writing about it,
cannot be bothered to learn
the name of the dead.
We live too fast.
We don’t stop
to smell the bones break
and the sirens wail.

No one knows who suffered here.
Not even me.
Not even the dead.

John had no siblings.
John lost his mother
after his father left him.
John left his wife
and then left his wife
and then left the woman
with whom he left his wife.
All the people are lonely.
Look at them.

John had a son whom he left
and a son
whom he left prematurely.
John abandoned a country
and then a public
that wanted something else from him.
He built walls and broke bridges
between himself and others
over and over again.
Look at them:
All the people are lonely.

At the end
he brought together his old friends,
his former lovers,
a world that had until too recently
forgotten him, like a bug.
After the end
he was memorialized and treasured
and brought into more homes
than ever before.
After the end
he was gone
and he wasn’t lonely anymore.

All the people are lonely.
Look at them:
look at the powerless people.
All the people are lonely.

Where’s your friend?
I haven’t seen her around lately.
She hasn’t responded to any
of my texts
or my IMs
or emails or calls.

If you see her around
let her know I’m thinking of her
and would like her
to get back to me this time
or anytime, really.

Let her know,
if you can,
that I’m not gonna make the same mistake again
– that I’m wholly prepared
to make a whole series
of brand spanking new mistakes –
and that I really think
she’d enjoy seeing them
in action.

Tell her
next time she comes around
that I think of her still,
and I –
just tell her I said “hi,”
all right?

I always assumed
that with the right workout,
the right job,
if the right opportunity
came my way,
I might find some strategy
through which I could somehow become worthy of you.

I was certain that some combination
of self-improvement and luck
would let me earn your interest,
and if I had rebuilt my upper body strength and charm
to the level that you deserved,
maybe you’d give me a shot.

I always believed that practice,
that effort,
that willpower
could transform me into the hero
to take you away from everything you hate
and bring you toward everything you want,
a thing that might include me
as well.

I had high hopes
that I could be better,
better enough for you
and I still have hopes
that it’s not too late
for that to become true.

If you build it well,
you needn’t replace it.
If you plan for forever,
it’ll likely last.

No one ever does that
but I shall try.
I will fight the demons
of planned obsolescence
and make something
for the ages.

Finishing that project
bringing this thing to its terminus
that will be the thing
that makes me complete.

I will work
on this perfect item
and it will be good
so long as I plan well enough
and consider every aspect
and aim for the sublime.

This will be my legacy
and my life
and my everything
as soon as I begin.

Hey, I just wanted to check in.
Are you feeling better?
The headache’s gone?
Is your hair all washed?
How about the cat? Is she feeling all right now?

I’m hoping you’ve had your Me Time
and you don’t have to worry
about your Aunt Florence anymore
and you’re less busy
and work has let up
and your phone got over its hiccups
and all the other things
you’ve explained to me
over the last few months
have been successfully resolved.

I’m really glad to hear
that things are going better
and you’re in a good space
and you’re comfortable
and I hope now you’re ready
to see a movie with me.

Uh huh.
Yeh.
Got it.
Cool.
Let’s touch base next month.

The poem you wrote
thirty years ago
that you showed me
twenty seven years ago
has stayed with me since.

It made me think
about gender politics
in a way I hadn’t before
at a time
when I was young and impressionable
and easily turned on to new things
(the poem turned me on
too
– or maybe it was just you).

I don’t know
if you knew
how powerful that piece was
to some random boy you shared it with
in your dorm
back in college
in a prior century.
I thought that you should.

I just stole
from that poem you wrote
thirty years ago.
I hope you won’t mind
but I doubt that you’d notice.