I don’t think I’ve ever reached a point
where I have been able to sate my hungry love
for someone fully.
No one has ever given me a chance.
I believe that I could
with you.
I suspect I could have my fill of you.
Won’t you please reach the limit with me?
Let me know if I can get to the end with you.
…and then suddenly there’s a pivot,
and everything changes.
Your direction, your momentum, everything.
The horror ride loses its terror
and you find life goes steady.
A simple solution arrives
and you’ve regained control
where it seemed impossible before.
All after a blink
that you couldn’t have imagined.
Just wait for the blink.
Hold on.
Back when I had the loft,
I would walk down the back steps
into the endless back floors
and always discover new areas of my sublet
that I hadn’t yet taken advantage of.
So much raw space in East Harlem
– and for such a reasonable price.
Amazing!
It had taken me a while to get into this place,
but it really proved to be worth it.
I was glad I’d waited.
The main floor was kind of dumpy,
but going down these other floors,
they always had cool white walls that had been recently painted.
No work needed to be done.
Storage a’plenty.
Rarely anyone else around.
Performance space for whatever I wanted.
Heavenly.
Sometimes, I would find neighbors in these spaces,
and I worried about sharing,
but it never proved to be a long term problem.
The apartment remained mine,
and no one disturbed me in my solitude.
Really, East Harlem was a perfect place,
like a dream.
Oh yes, this placeused to house a hunger.
This place used to contain a need so great,
I would come most nights to feed it.
This was once my opium den,
my favored whore house.
This was my den of iniquity.
This is where I’d go
to let it all hang out.
They razed that place.
They cleared it
to simply build another business.
It does not seem to feed anyone’s needs
the way it used to feed mine.
All right, alright…
I know I’ve done some dumb things,
but tell me this,
who’s the bigger fool:
the idiot who marries the spy
or the one who becomes a spy
to avoid being blackmailed for having married a spy?
Wait… I know the answer to that.
Let me come up with another hypothetical…
All right. Who’s the bigger fool:
he who marries for beauty
or he who marries for love?
Yes, OK, that has a fairly clear answer, too.
Well, then. How about, who’s the bigger fool:
the one who weighs three hundred pounds
or the one who weighs two eighty?
Fine, but who’s taller?
Surely the space dwarves could be defeated by our hero
if he only learned their secret weakness that the professor
and our heroine discovered in the middle of act two.
But first, let’s watch this amazing action scene:
Oh wow. Lookit that.
Amazing: Rock amazons. Flying.
These effects are fantastic!
I can’t believe I’m seeing this.
I really thought the second in the series was the best,
but it’s true what they say:
the odd numbers are when the sequels really shine.
I can’t wait until Number Nine!
Oh, shit.
I don’t know if you’re up on it,
but the new superstition’s have come in
and the latest off the presses
is that if you check the wall clock after midnight
before going to bed,
you gon’ die.
I got word earlier in the day,
so I could shut down my wall clocks
and it’s a non-issue
but if you still got clocks up,
don’t look at that shit after it’s struck twelve
– which I see it has done.
You be careful now, boy.
Every minute now is a risk.
Maybe it’s best if you just go to sleep
even if you just put some coffee into you.
Just go to bed and close your eyes until morning,
that’s my advice.
Don’t look at any clocks until the dawn,
else who knows what kind of rigor mortis
you gonna experience.
Maybe you can just close your eyes
and swing a bat at your walls to get rid of that crap?
What?
Hell, yes, I’m superstitious.
Maybe you’d be, too, if you’d seen your mother’s back broken
as many times as I have.
You watch that shit, kid.
Watch that clock, too.
Are you the one to know the way through to May’s?
Has she danced every party?
How can you answer that properly?
Who are you to answer anything?
Who are any of us?
What are we, here, to speak of this?
Where is here, anyway?
Speaking of anyway, how did this topic get raised?
Are we sharing common space on this Battleship: Earth?
Would the olde B:E referred to above be the here mentioned in the earlier question?
Is it cool to be referencing all these earlier questions?
Should there maybe be a numerical system for prior questions to make things clearer?
It’s a little late now to suggest numbering questions before, isn’t it?
What’re you, a wise guy?
I’m just trying to be sensible. Do you have a better idea?
What the hell are you talking about?
Can we focus here?
What the hell is the plaza of May’s discotheque?
Could you repeat that?
What?
Violet looks at you quizzically,
as if you’re going somewhere.
You gaze at Violet wonderingly,
knowing she’s going many places.
She’ll probably be on the road in minutes,
her shining mane flowing as she catches a ride out of here.
You have no idea where she’ll go next.
She may not either,
but you’re sure adventure’s coming.
A fiddle by her side, leather on her back,
tie-dye in her bag,
the world is hers as long as she wants it.
"Get that look off your face, boy.
I’ll be back in no time," she says.
You doubt you’ll ever see her again.
You hope you’re wrong,
but you don’t think you are.
Violet is too big for your world.
You ask for her autograph,
which makes her snort,
since you’ve known each other
all your lives.
She doesn’t see how serious you are.
You don’t know if you’re experiencing prophecy,
or just being foolish.
She laughs and then scrawls on your pants.
You know you’ll never wear them again.
She’s gone and a part of you is as well.
Obviously.
We never spoke honestly
and by “we” I mean me.
You may have been as honest as can be
– I’m not in your head.
I’m in my head all the time,
and I can tell you I was not honest
– certainly not enough.
I did not speak the truth
when you asked me what I wanted.
I played easy-going
but I never am.
I am hard-going
and anxious
and snappy
and this almost certainly played into
why I am your ex now.
If I could have spoken the truth,
perhaps you would not have lost patience with me
so quickly.
I hope that is true.
That would give me something to shoot for
with someone else.
jonberger 