jonberger

The boarded up dump
where we broke in
and shattered glass that one time
– and the other three times –
was cemented up last year
so no one could get up to the antics
we used to
back then.

I guess that’s good.
I feel better knowing
that the crazy dangerous shit
we used to get up to
can no longer be repeated.
It is ours
– and maybe a score of generations before -‘s
but never again.

That building was protected for the youth
or from the youth
but the important thing
is that it was untouched by the youth
after us.

I hear they’re tearing the dump down
for a playground
which counters my thesis
quite nicely.

If eyes are windows
what soul-less monstrosity
was King Oedipus?

He fucked her
and she fucked him
while flirting with the Eagles’ Tim
and all the while they wouldn’t speak
except in ways disguised,
oblique.

The circle jerks and gyres rose
and Mickey quickly doffed his hose
so Nicksy’s expectations closed.

The Big Mac lost his bride.
Lindsey lost his stride
and nations cried
as each member trembled, sighed.

There was joy, pain.
California sunshine
coupled with British rain
breaking chains
in those days
and all that followed.

Art
born from interesting times
produce more
interesting times.

When the bus leaves
and we go to our different corners
of our different cities,
when we gain some much-needed space
and an opportunity to consider
other options,
when we take a break
from this shared existence
that could have gone so much smoother,
I will breath much easier
free of the tension
of our many entanglements.

You?
I suppose it could go well for, too
but frankly, I’m a little tired
of considering your feelings.
That’s why you’re leaving anyway,
isn’t it?

The poems you were supposed to write
the stories you were supposed to tell
the lies you were meant to concoct
the empires you will never build
the books you haven’t read
the women that you should have loved
the battles you could have braved
the heights you always meant to reach
all of these
all are not
what you think of
when you near the finish line.

What you think of
– so I’m told
over and over
with great authority –
is how to avoid pooping your pants.

Mission abandoned.

You could have me
for three dollars.
I’m serious.
If you want
you can take me home with you
tonight
and do with me what you will
for three dollars.

Look.
Look me in the eye.
This is for real.
Now look at me.
Look me up and down.
This
– all this – can be yours
for the painfully low price
three hundred pennies.

Six rolls
that’s all you need
to have the sort of evening
that only I can provide.
I’m ready.
I’m raging.
I’m raring to rock out
however you’d have me.

It’s true.
It’s gonna happen
if you say the word.
All you gotta do
is say the word
then give me what a need.
Three dollars is not such a large charge
for a taste of heaven,
don’t you think?

Make your choice.
Any time now…
How about two?

Are you ready for this?
I can’t hear you:
are you ready for this?
I don’t think you are.
I don’t think you could possible be prepared for the preeminent panther attack that is about to…
pounce?
Yeah: Pounce!

What you are about to witness
is the sound of street knowledge
and boulevard knowledge
and sidewalk knowledge.
You’re gonna hear something
and feel something
and learn something.

I am a small bitter man
made even smaller when faced with the kind of colossal talent that is Jonathan Whistle McFinnerty Berger.
My penis is small
and I express that little secret by failing to give talents as great as this next act
their due.
I am sorry my introduction was not up to the challenge.
Luckily, this next performer is.
Please welcome:
Him.

Do it.
Do it now.
Do it fast.
Do it hard.
It’s not too late to do it.
Do it good.

Do it already.
Do it today.
Do it before it does you
and do it well
– but not at the expense of not doing.
It’s more important, the doing
than not doing
or thinking about doing
or talking about doing
or… Look just do it, all right?

The it, even,
is kind of irrelevant
insignificant
and unimportant.
Something, that’s what you should do
– and before you can regret it
or question
or talk yourself down.

Do it
whatever it is
even if its me.
Get it done.

I really want to like your work
to appreciate the thoughts in your head
as expressed in rhythm and rhyme
and blues and barre chords
and climactic choruses.
I want to clamor for your compositions.

I’ve been listening hard
bearing what good will
I can
to appreciate the words,
the turns of phrase,
the inimitable utterances you express.
I’ve been working to like your stuff.

I’ve been seeking a way in.
I like you
so I want to honestly adore your art.
I want to like your work;
I’ve been making an effort
for some time now
and
if you could help, that would be great.

I’ll be at your show next Thursday.
Please don’t suck.

This is by no means a guarantee
but it’s cerTainly worth saying
and absolutely worth hearing.

I just may stop disagreeing with you
if you stop telling me what to do.
It’s not that your ideas are the worst
but they’re not mine
and so
to me
they aren’t shit.
If I can’t support my own way
of being me,
who else will. you know?

So I hope you understand and appreciate
the advice I give
on how best to handle me
and please
this time
would you just do what I say?