jonberger

UNHEALTHY

How has this lasted?
How did I get so sick
for so many days?
I can’t remember a time
when I didn’t have this cold
or these symptoms
or a broken week of work.

I am so far from healthy
I forgot what it looks like
or smells like
since my nose hasn’t functioned since Spring.
Maybe I’ve had several sicknesses?
Is there something in the water?

I don’t know.
I don’t care.
I just want to be healthy again
or, you know, whatever I was before.

GOO GOO DOLLS AND PRINCE

I have tried
– God knows I have tried
to be the man that you deserve.
I have tried to earn your devotion
your appreciation
and, dammit, some emotions from you.
I have failed.

I am not the man for you.
The man for you
has had you
and, though you two no longer speak,
it is clear he still occupies your heart.
I cannot supplant him:
you won’t let me.
I can never take the place of your man
and now, I think
I no longer want to.

I am not the man for you,
I see,
but you
are not the girl for me.

SUCH MAGNIFICENT FRUIT

It is said
that when they met
at the Purple Mansion
long after their collaboration
had borne such magnificent fruit,
Prince disavowed Sinead’s greatest hit
and kept her prisoner
in his home
for crimes unclear.

He didn’t like her politics
or religion
or hairstyle
which is curious
since Prince is so different
from most
– so short, so effeminate,
(so poorly moustached) –
you’d think he’d be more patient.

It is a shame,
since “Nothing Compares 2 U”
is so glorious,
so beautiful,
so wondrous,
what else could they have arrived at
upon the same path?

It would be nice to think
that Prince regretted his hostage’s imprisonment
at some time in the future
say,
after fifteen days and seven hours,
but I doubt it.

AT PUSSYCAT SUITE

The stripper next door
was in the army
before her more recent occupation.
She was a middle child
and loved to dance
growing up
so her current career choice
may be a step in the right direction.

Her boyfriend, a hippie,
doesn’t know about the army
and is totally fine
with her work at Pussycat Suite
– it’s empowering, apparently.

Joy tells me this
and more
after her shift
at my place
over bottles
under cover
and I sample her wares
at a deep
deep discount.

Her boyfriend knows nothing
of this, either
so instead of being Private Joy,
she’s become my Joy,
in private.

She didn’t like that either.

ANY IMAGINARIA

Prince Rogers,
in one of his greatest works,
spoke of his childhood
and his friendships
and a girl
and the magic she would find
when she opened her lunchbox

She would find coffee, syrup,
butterscotch jam
and
the occasional starfish.

I had no such friend
who opened no such door
into any imaginaria
in my early days.
All I had was you
who sang me the praises
of Prince Rogers
and much much more.

I miss you
and wish
you would show me something new
and that I
would love it
as much as the last.

IN THE TEMPLE

The guy who snuck Into my desk
and rifled through my files
and discovered the location
of the folder
that held my poems
and edited then
removing the profanity
and increasing the romanticity
and sending them
to the magazines
and the papers
and the printing press
letting everyone know
how I felt about you
was like a thief in the temple
of my soul.

I did not mean those words
to escape their lock box
but he found them
and released them
and the world now knows
and I have him
– the thief –
to blame
or thank
for whatever follows.
…
What, then,
will follow?

BINGE

God DAMN, woman,
you’re as fine as nothing I’ve ever seen before.
I want you.
I love you.
I love you so much I wanna purée you
and drink you as my morning smoothee.
I wanna grate your skin
and dry then into chips
for a dietary supplement.
I wanna cut you up and hone your bones into 18 inch installments to use as biodegradable dildos.
Or, similarly, take you in as an enema.

I really want to partake of you
– maybe take a video of your daily routine
to review, study, and finally,
to splice myself into,
to enjoy the film of our fictional lives together.

I really want more of you,
more than you could ever possibly provide
but that’s no reason why you shouldn’t try to give me what I want. NOW!

BECOME WHAT YOU ARE

I hope your quest goes well.
I hope you find what you seek
out there
(wherever ‘there’ is)
as you sweat and search
for the thing that was missing.

I hope it is a successful scouring for certainty
that you strive for
and you get what you need
to complete
what you insist is necessary.

I hope you gain something.
I hope you learn something.
I hope you become something better
than what you were
– which was pretty great
(though clearly, for you, not enough)

I hope you find what you’re looking for.
I hope you become what you are.
I hope you always get what you want
and whatever other lines
that may still apply.

I hope your quest goes well
and is over with before too long
and, after it is all done,
you still see fit
to return to me.