jonberger

FINALLY

Hi.
I just wanted to –
Hi.
My name is Jon.
and this is the last day
of my temp assignment here
and
on Monday
someone else may be sitting
in the cubicle
across from you
but before I go
I
just wanted to say
how much
I’ve enjoyed your smell.

That did NOT come out right.
Let me rephrase.
…
No,
I guess that WAS
what I meant to say.
I’ve been trying to find some way
to meet you
these last three weeks
and, maybe when you introduced yourself on Day One
would have been better than this – you said your name is Kandi, right? Whatever.

I want you to know I would never do anything to hurt you
no matter what they’re saying on the bulletin boards
and I think your calls to your boyfriend
are uplifting – and that he should probably probably stop flirting with your sister.

You mean so much to me,
Kandi,
and I wish we had met under different circumstances
like at a strip club
or while hitchhiking.
It would mean so much to me
if we could exchange LinkedIn accounts.

Do you think
that could be possible?
Maybe someday,
we could again work together.

T SQUARED

Take time.
Regroup.
Recoup your losses,
s’il vous plaît.Improve your lot,
at your leisure.

It’ll all happen
eventually.
No rush;
take time.

LIKE ERNIE AND WALT

“Will you love me when I’m normal?”
Don’t you mean, would I love you if you were normal?
It’s just that sort of optimism
that makes you so enticing.
In the face of insurmountable odds
you foolishly believe
in your shot at redemption.
More likely a shot of antibiotics
or tequila.

You may become more stable
mote responsible
but normal?
It’s not in your DNA.
Average ain’t your legacy.

Your destiny succeeds normal
and redefines it
for the next generation
like Dylan
like Brando
like Ernie and Walt.

You aren’t normal
and will never be.
That is our blessing
though probably your curse.

RUSTY SPIGOT

All I need
is one idea
to get me through the day.
The night?
She’ll take care of herself.

Something has to happen
to me
so I can earn my sleep.
Just a little bit of inspiration
to put me on the right track
rolling along til dawn.

It seems
I used to flow
from one creation to another.
I poured thoughts.
Now
I think
the spigot is rusty
or the faucet
or the pipes.
I can’t even finish the metaphor
or a single solitary piece.

What am I going to do?
How will I overcome this challenge?

I have no idea.

ALL APOLOGIES #XCVII

I wish I had a sister
or owned a mirror and tits
because I missed something important
growing up without enough of a female presence
to show me what girls are like.

I didn’t mean what I said
– well, I meant it,
but not in the way
you took it
or, at least, not that hard.

I don’t know how to make this better
or anything better
because, while I know
I’m an idiot,
I don’t know how else to be.

I would fix it
– I would treat you correct –
if I knew what girls were
or how to express myself
or,
or…

I don’t get it.
I never have.
I’m trying.
Please:
help.

ADVENTURES ABROAD

I want to thank you
for letting me know
about your gig in Hamburg
a town to which I have never been
and,
thanks to my Eastern European Hebraic ancestry,
have some small anxiety about going to.

I appreciate you’re informing me
of the moves you make in foreign lands
thousands of kilometers away.
I approve of yours decisions.
Well, some of them.

I am glad you are aware
of the wrong side of the tracks
in each community you have visited
– even those without Eurail access.
I am proud of you
for the research done
but
believe you should not avoid those areas.

It is where adventure can be found
how stories get discovered
and your life becomes most truly appreciated.
Brave the dark end of the street.
Enter the red light district.
Don’t fear the reeperbahn.

Go forth.
Enjoy in the new city
before your show
tonight.

Also, please
take me off your mailing list.

As you wait for your father
at the doctor’s
try to be patient
no matter how long it takes
and how long you wait
for him to toddle over
to the agreed-upon pickup point.

You do not know what
his appointment is like
and, though it is frustrating
to wait in the darkness,
do not curse him out
before he enlightens you.

The meeting
may not go well.
The news
may not be good.
The tidings may be ill.

The anticipation will suck
but
allow your father
to inform you
of the prognosis
at his own pace
after the doctor’s visit.

It yields the best of all possible outcomes.
Trust me.

TRUE LOVE #.001

Love hates you with a passion
and envies you your body.

Love wants nothing to do with humans
and says
"Only humans
are egotistical enough
to believe in me.
All other creatures
with their small brains
and their instinct for survival
keep their eye on the prize,
which is propagation,
and not on the ephemeral,
the existence-impaired,
which is me."

No one hears Love
because of her extreme
lack of physicality
though we express her physically
so often.
Such is the contradiction
of the spiteful
destructive
feared and evil thing
called Love.