The light patter of rain on the window
tells me that there will not be a chance today
to sunbathe
or to set up a stoop sale
or to go on the the long walk I was hoping
– at least, not without soaking my socks.
The weather report was always available,
I suppose,
but who wants to look into that business?
Better to know
by the sounds that awaken you:
either that of the sun beating down
or of the trickle of drops on the pane.
I am not allowed into the apartment
until I complete the assignment.
I am the one who made the assignment.
I am the one judging completion of the assignment.
I am the one stopping me from entering the apartment.
I sit out in the cold car
hands blue
tip-typing away to make my points known
so that I might find warmth
once again
in the cockles of my home
at the time that I have earned it.
I will have earned it soon
when I have completed the assignment
that keeps me from my destined heat.
Any minute now
I will be released from servitude
from this car
and may return to my home
once I am done.
“Three Feet High and Rising” was playing on the stereo
while me myself and I
were all settling into a sleeping bag uptown.
I was tentatively positioned near Kiri,
the latest object of my affection.
There were a lot of us on the floor.
Among the crowd was Malik,
whom I had just met.
He used to date Kiri.
He was trying to configure himself
around the many bodies.
“Is there room?” He asked his ex.
“I don’t know,” Kiri replied.
“Oh, come on!” I butted in, “if you have a chance to sleep near the beautiful blonde, you take it! Don’t be a fool, Malik!”
I don’t know why I spoke,
but Malik agreed,
and slept next to the girl that night.
Sometimes,
I am at war with myself.
Paul Simon wrote “Old Friends”
and then abandoned his old friend Art
a couple of times.
Luckily, he never abandoned his older friend, art,
although now that he’s no longer recording albums
maybe he’s taking that particular plunge
into troubled water.
Jose doesn’t have the excuse of excessive drink
or smoke to pills for his bad memory
but he’ll occasionally put his back to someone
who asks him how he is
and whisper
"Who is he/she/they?"
and if I know,
I’ll provide a brief synopsis of their curriculum vitae
and if I don’t
I’ll make it up
because chaos is incredibly funny.
Jose may learn something in the process
but it will probably be
that Maggie is NOT
a trained scholar of russo-pre-industrial dominatrix techniques
– or if she is,
it’s a pretty astounding coincidence.
“It hurts,” he said.
“I feel your pain,” she said.
“It doesn’t make it any better!” he grouched.
She knew that, but didn’t think that saying so
would improve a thing, so she stayed with him
in silence.
He didn’t know if that improved a thing
but it didn’t hurt.
It is quiet now
as we both sit in our own ruminations.
Soon you will be gone
and I will be alone
and anticipating that
leaves me sad.
I am too locked into my thoughts
to ask about yours.
Perhaps you’re worried
about your hurried departure, as well.
We worry so much about these things
rather than enjoying the moments together
simple lessons we should have learned
over Summer vacations,
long ago.
School should have taught us something.
You will find the stars blinking out soon
and you will discover
that darkness is all that will cover the night
the day
and everything in between
on your world.
Your life will be a smaller one
filled with no colors
no shades
no imagination
for there is nothing left to see
in the now, let alone the future.
You will find yourself looking back to earlier days
when you had the chance
to take advantage of offers made
and opportunities available
and you will wish that you had bought
this hot dog and soda multipack
when you could’ve for just six ninety eight.
Yeah.
Don’t make me do it.
You know how hard it is for me.
Don’t put this on my head.
Don’t force my hand, please.
Don’t, don’t…
All right, fine, if I must,
I’ll make the declaration:
Please, don’t go.
When you next come to town
we’re gonna party like it’s last Spring.
I’ll spring into action
cleaning up the place
so you won’t have to lift a finger.
When you next come to town
we’ll talk about all of your lovers in other ports
and what they mean to you
and what I mean to you, et al.
When you next come to town
things might get a little tense,
a little active, a little musical,
a little touristy, a little transparent,
and a lot lucky to be living this way
– for me, anyway.
When you next come to town
it won’t be like
when you last came to town.
It’ll be better.
jonberger 