jonberger

My fictitious uncle of mythical memory
(let’s call him Sven, shall we?
Why not?) once said to me,
"If you take the first parking spot you see,
you may miss out better parking spots
down the line.

Closer spots. More convenient spots.
Cheaper spots. Easier spots.
You never know what you may see
with a little patience and perspective."

I nodded sagely, as I often had to
when my uncle spake.

"Think on this as you drive through the City.
Think on this," he said, "as you drive through life."

"This sounds allegorical," I suggested,
"May I apply this information to situations
other than parking?"
"Dude," Sven said, "What do you think?"

I just composed and erased a poem
before I typed a letter of it.
I just decided the piece
was pointless
before I began.

It was an intellectual argument
that was clever
but probably not worth the time
it would take to explain.

Have I grown up
by avoiding the issue
or have I grown lazy
or simply become a better editor?
Perhaps I have reached the singularity
and finally achieved sentience?

Wouldn’t that be something
or… would it?

I have been brushing my teeth
for longer and longer periods of time lately.
This has to do with
I suspect
the holographic toothbrush I have
so I no longer have to do the tedious work
of moving my arm up and down
to clean my teeth.
The rotary motion of the brushes do the work for me
so all I have to do is more of a back and forth thing
so I cover the entirety of my mouth.

I spend more time doing the inside of the mouth,
the back teeth,
repeating the process,
being a completionist about the whole ordeal
– but it’s not an ordeal –
it’s an important part of oral hygiene.

It appears that the technology being available
to make the job easier
has only made me work harder and longer
to do it more correctly.
Funny thing, huh?

No, I didn’t think so either.

Look forward to tomorrow
where you can step bright and smart
into the future!

Though really
the future exists
in what you’ve done today
and all the things that happened yesterday
that provided you the opportunities to do them today.

If you were not in the society
of last month
you would have had not chance
to enter into today
to create the wonderful tomorrow
there is to look forward to.

Dead gods, did the future start
before I was born?

The theater where I used to watch ancient cartoons
after school in my neighborhood
has been gone for generations.

In its place stands a cultural center
where musicians and theatrical events
play on occasion
that heighten the culture
of all who may enter.

It seems that little has changed
except I can’t see Daffy Duck
blasting bucktoothed Hirohito to smithereens anymore.
Those shorts were racist as fuck
but crazy fun.

The guy I just gave a dollar to
is chatting with me.
He’s speaking English,
but between busted teeth
and what I suspect is a drunker slur
so no words are making sense to me.

Still, through intonation,
I think I can understand intent well enough
to smile at the right times,
nod, and say, “that’s rough.”
I want to engage with another human being
but it’s hard
without the common words.

He laughs and goes on his way.
I think we were talking about where
he’ll be able to spend his new buck
but I’ll never know for sure
unless maybe I start using my hearing aid.

I don’t say this enough- I don’t say it at all, do I?
I may with an arched tongue
or a sarcastic brow
or with an italicized remark
or something to cushion the blow
but I care
so much
and I want to let you know
how much you mean to me
in a moment unadorned with all the tricks
and treachery that makes it so easy
to hide.

You make everything easier
and I thank you for helping me through
my innumerable days.
Your support and companionship
and love keep me going.
I love you, mother.

Also, I took a fiver from your wallet
last week.

No take backs.

I knew I should have called.

It has been too long since we’d spoken
and friendship is a two-way street
one I hadn’t gone down
in too long a time.
I’d been hitching on that road
taking the trip when others would be paying for gas
– except that ruins the metaphor,
so I didn’t do that at all.

The point is I didn’t call.
I let the quiet overtake us
so that if I did call
it would seem strange
out of character
like I wanted something
would have to have some excuse lined up to rationalize the whole thing.
I couldn’t come up with anything that would justify the whole rigamarole.

So no contact.
No word.

I had no idea what was going on in your life
no sense which television shows you were watching
no clue if you knew what shrewd errors John Oates was making in his career.

I was out of touch
and out of time.

Thank you, then,
for picking up the phone
and setting some of it to rights.

You struggle to be healthy
to look good
to feel good
when you’ve looked good and felt good
for so long now.
You’ve had no complaints.
Small complaints.
Virtually no complaints.
The glass has no cracks to be uncovered.

You’re healthy.
Could you be healthier?
You could always be healthier!
Everyone in this modern America could be healthier
like everybody could have better relationships with their parents
(except you. I’m sorry for your loss).

I think there are things to worry about
and then there are things to worry about
and you
you are worrying about nothing.

So don’t worry so much.

When I saw Beauty, I tried to take her in.
I approached slowly, carefully,
so as to not scare her off.
She didn’t seem frightened at all
so I decided to make contact
but my dumb tongue became numb.
No words escaped my stupid lips.

I attempted a friendly gesture to Beauty
but my farcical fingers twisted into shapes
obscene and ridiculous,
making her look concerned and sympathetic
but mostly confused.

I tried to smile
to show I meant no harm,
but I’m pretty certain I licked chapped lips
which could have given some some mixed message
or other
and I believe a smell began to arise from me
that simply should not arise from a mature adult
past adolescence.

I am not under the impression
that Beauty is struck by me
the way that I was struck by her.
I suspect, rather,
that if I’m ever to be struck by Beauty again
it will be with a two by four.