jonberger

Well, you’ve done it now.
You thought you could maintain
your steady diet of successes indefinitely
and you did
until you didn’t.

You didn’t now.

You have been unable to continue
the standard you expected to
at this point.
You should not have been able to
as long as you have
so frankly
your failure has been anticipated.

The only disappointment
is that we have all lost money
on when you would be unable to hold up
to your end of the bargain.
No one thought you’d be able
to hold on so long
so everybody loses.

Way to fuck everybody up.

You look at the boisterous boy
and you see something simple
an idiot of the id
spouting about desires
and wishes and negativity and such.

There is more.
He will speak ill
drilling down to your worst pains
with little hesitance.
He will easily attack.
He shall harm, humorously.

It is true. I will prove it to you.
And I’ll give you a clue:
Just ask “Who are you?”
and he’ll quickly throw you through
a teenage wasteland of his own devising.

It won’t be pretty
but it’ll be be cruel
and it will be his doing.

Once, he had a goddess
and didn’t know what to do with her
so he squandered her charm
and her beauty and her love.

He wasted the time he had with her,
a thing that could have been inexhaustible
but instead because something
with a distinct extinction date.

He killed a goddess
because he couldn’t handle her
and so they went on their own ways
unhappily ever after.

Before we go any further, however I fit into your plans,
I feel it my duty to warn you: I am a bad man.
I do things a little bit evil. I scheme just a little bit every day.
If people do not agree with my whims, I tend to blow them away.

You should know what you’re getting into. You have a right to bow out now.
Except that it’s very too late for you. You’re a slave to my scheme. This I vow.
Ha ha haha haha ha, ha ha haha ha!
Ha ha haha haha ha, ha ha haha HA!

I’m a dastardly Dan without equal! I commit my worst crimes every night!
And I do all these things while I’m stealing the rings of the widows and orphans I fright-en.
There are few who recall me sans scowling, or shuddering while saving themselves
which gives me a chance to take an advance on what they might have on their shelves!

Yes, some might have called me Space Outlaw, or others the Pompatus of Love
but I won both those phrases since Miller always raises when he’s got a deuce or above.
So try to escape my clutches. You’ll find, my dear, that you can’t.
You’ll be with me always, and find that on all days, you’ll be forced to listen to rants!

Of my genius and cruelty you’ll learn more. Of my treachery and lackeys, as well.
And I hope in that time, you will aid in my crimes, and eventually, befall under spell.
Until that time, I’ll keep you prisoner, a servant right here in my hold.
So as we while these decades away: darling, why are you so cold?

I’m an evil miscreant wrongdoer! Each day I’m the worst I’ve yet been!
But still I cannot help wondering aloud: honey, must you be so mean?
Ha ha haha haha ha, ha ha haha ha!
Ha ha haha haha ha, no, seriously, it’s getting me down.

I made a point to stop buying new books
about forty years ago
when I was reading a fantasy series
and I bought the hardcover
of 13th book in the series new
and realized I still hadn’t read it
when I saw the paperback of the 15th book
selling on the street for a dollar.

I decided I didn’t need to crowd my shelves
or waste my money if I wasn’t going to immediately
be on top of my reading
(I’m not sure if I ever did read that 13th book).

I started exploiting the library system, too,
so that I could share the books with the rest of the public,
since I rarely needed to own the book I wanted to read,
simply choosing to rent the information
for a little while.

These ideas haven’t changed much.
Only occasionally do I feel the need to own a book.
Sometimes, I like to buy them for other people, of course,
and purchasing second-hand is a great pleasure.

Also a pleasure? Sharing ideological priorities with others. I’ll do that whenever I can.

It’s been a while, but it’s coming back to me now.
I’ve been having naked dreams again.
Like, all the time.
I’ve been going to classes
heading out to work
negotiating a busy office,
balls bouncing,
ass proud and true,
never checking who was taking in the view.

I’ve been dreaming of the freedom
nudity affords
hungering for a life without restriction,
restraint,
or an eventual reckoning.

In the dreams
mens are pig.
They notice nothing.
The wimmins, though,
present raised eyebrows and tilted hips.
They suggest acknowledgment
but allow me to continue
in my utterly unclothed approach.

I don’t know why this is happening more
at this point
or why I’ve chosen now to talk about it
but
I’m feeling a little uncomfortable
with the admission
having let it all hang out.

Just a tad
vulnerable,
y’know?

The dog’s name was Conviction
which was really fucking weird.

She made me feel guilty
whenever I saw her at the run
because I kept staring at her owner
in ways that elicited shame.

I was convinced it was obvious
but since I never was called out on it,
I thought maybe I was safe
until I realized that maybe I was so obvious
that both the dog and owner just tried to avoid my errant eye so much
that it never seemed like they noticed anything I did.

So I was never caught for my constant gawking
but the guilt never left me, anyway.

I stopped going to the dog run after a while
at least until I can get a dog
or something that looks like one.

The thing about me is
that there are a whole lot of things about me:
I’m bald and gray
and unemployed and I write
maybe a bit too much
but what else am I gonna do with all this time
available to me?

I have more clothes than I need
but they all seem kinda the same
so I don’t seem like a clothes horse at all.
I’m cheap as a bird
and though I own a little Coltrane,
I’m not a big fan of Jazz.

I spent a lot of time in AntiFolk circles,
even though most people refer to them as antifolk circles
which makes more sense when you spell it than when you say it.

Even then, though, the difference is minor.

I like minors a bunch,
because they’re easier to socialize with
but after seven or so,
the bloom is off the rose
and they get too cool for school,
so screw those kids

(don’t actually screw those kids.
That would be wrong).

There are a lot more things about me
but they become decreasingly interesting

at this point – and since we weren’t exactly
burning up the charts at this point –
it’s probably time to drop off.

Look at you!
You needn’t be so sad.
You don’t have to be down on every frown.
With the proper perspective
you might be able to turn it around.

Napoleon’s Waterloo was also
Wellington’s Waterloo
so wonderful things can still happen to you.

If you believe it, it’s especially true.

If not, there’s not much more I can do.

Why must it always be a competition?
Things needn’t be a race.
We can all reach the top of the hill
achieve greatness in our own unique ways
even by doing similar things.

We needn’t look to each other
to compare – this is unnecessary.
Just tend to your field
and I’ll tend mine
– which is looking pretty fine.

How’d you get those bigass cornstalks
by the by?
Just asking.
Damn!