ALL APOLOGIES LXXVIII

I am sorry.
I am sorry I forgot how to love you.
I am sorry that those things
that seemed so charming,
so adorable,
so long ago
have transformed into shuriken
tossed accidentally
at one another.

I am sorry that the joy I felt
in your presence
became boredom
then annoyance
then anger
and then
something else again.
I’m sorry we didn’t speak of this sooner.

I’m sorry when we did speak of this
it was encrypted
like a poem
or code
when what we were once all about
was sharing
and talking through dawn
and seeking to understand
all of each other’s stories
and sacrifices
and strengths.
I’m sorry it all went to shit.

I’m sorry for my part
but also for yours.
I’m sorry what we’ve been doing to each other
after what we used to do for each other.
I’m sorry I don’t want this anymore.

I’m sorry, really,
that it couldn’t have been handled better
or faster
or more elegantly.
I’m sorry
this is the end.

But
I am glad
that at last
it is over
– and for that, too,
I am sorry.