All Apologies #08

Apologies to Alison:
The things I did to you
were unconscionable
and, in retrospect,
embarrassingly obvious.
Pulling your pigtails
chasing your skirt
smacking your legs with my ruler…
deducing my purpose
was elementary, Watson.

You shouted once:
“Mommy says you act like this because you LUHV me!”
and I said,
“You call your mother ‘Mommy?'”
and tried to peek down your shirt
I don’t know why.
I was too young
to know what I was looking for
too immature
to have any of those mature thoughts.

I was completely unable to express
the yearnings I had
to be in your presence
and learn more about you.

I was cruel.
I was cold.
I was curt
when all I longed for
was for you
to warm up to me.

I know better
how to treat a lady.
I understand so much
that was beyond me
for so long.
I am prepared
years later
to earn your attention.
Now, finally,
I realize
what a girl like you
is twelve dollars enough?

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