EFFIE’S CHOICE

This just boggles my mind.
Usually, you can tell pretty easily
who the prettier friend is,
the hotter one,
the most popular.
You can figure out,
with the first glance,
the dynamics of the friendship
and the tension of their teamwork.

But with you two,
you two young
vibrant and firm creatures,
I cannot piece it together
have no clue which of you
I should more actively lust after.

It’s not like you’re carbon copies,
girls who insist on identically
so your identities can be subsumed into the whole.
You are unique enough
to avoid that fascistic ideal.

So which is it?
Of you two,
who is the better bitch to be
my object of desire?
The blonde or redhead?
With glasses or barrette?
The short skirt or tight skirt
or… What?

I cannot decide.
I can’t choose between you two.
Who should I want?
You’re just both so ugly…