SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

I could tell you about my vacation home
or my part-time job as a fireman
or how I had the most tragic affairs
with the most tragic of duchesses
but it doesn’t matter,
does it?

The truth of the matter is
you’re gonna like me
no matter what I do.
I got inside you really quick
and you think I’m funny and smart
and kind
and, despite yourself,
you’re already kind of attracted to me.
You probably haven’t parsed it out entirely
but you want to know me better
and, you know what?
I’m gonna let you.

I’m gonna give you the chance
to explore my options.
I’m gonna let you
uncover my secrets,
r ip off my toga
and let your hands start roaming.
I’m going to let you in.

Now
don’t thank me yet.
Just wait
until after you’ve tried me.