I’ve been trying to figure out
just what it is about you that reaches me
in that special place
that is only for you.
Someday, I hope to understand
my feelings for you.
I want to know what it is
that makes me hate you so very much.

Is it the stupid things you say?
Your self-involved statements of inexact idiocy?
Is it your fat ugly face?

I’ve seen fatter faces, more ugly.
I’ve heard more facile folk,
fuller of themselves,
swearing that they were cursed
by assorted humblebrags:
“my car can’t fit all the girls that want to date me”
“my wall is buckling under the awards that I’ve hung”
“my eyes are strained by the zeroes and nines in my bank account.”

All of the above
are awful in you
but worse in others.
so why am I so muchmore tolerant
of Andy and Jenn
while hating you
oh so very much?
What makes you the worst?

Is it that in you
I see some small part of myself
that I despise?
I don’t have the answers
nor am I sure that I want them.
I’m not at all sure
if the research would be worth it.