My name is Kris Kringle
I’d like to redress you.
My name is Kris Kringle.
Please try on these boots.
My name is Kris Kringle
and if you have not experienced one of my four Metro-area locations, you have not experienced Christmas.
Hell!
You have not experienced life.

My name is Kris Kringle
and I’ve got a deal for you!
My name is Kris Kringle;
try this jingle belled shoe.
My name is Kris Kringle
and if you mention me at our 21st avenue store
you can five elves for the price of three!
Kinda makes me tingle.
My name is Kris Kringle.

My name is Kris Kringle,
and everything’s on sale.
My name is Kris Kringle
selling Jesus nails
and Kwanzaa pails
and Chanukah mail
over to Aunt Irene in the old country
with the old religion
where, good GOD! they know a bargain when they see it.
My name is Kris Kringle,
and you’ve got to see it to believe it.

My name, as you might have heard,
is Kris Kringle,
and I really think you should buy something from me
today
or my name’s not Kris Kringle!