All Apologies #0417

It’s a little late for an apology,
I know, but
better late than never
as someone once cliched.
so,
I might as well jump this plank
and go swimming with sharks.

I’m sorry for the cliches
I always used to use
how I couldn’t speak honestly
or shoot straight at the heart of the matter.
I was scared. I was unsure.
I was unclear about my directives
and couldn’t stress the things that I should have.
My words were vague
because I avoided truth.

I’m sorry I lied.
They weren’t intentional lies
but I pretended to be smarter,
braver,
better than I was.
I thought then
that I was better than I am now
and even now, I’m not much.

I’m sorry I’ve gotten so fat.

I’m sorry you didn’t see more in me
that you thought would be worth keeping
and thought it better
that we go separate ways
on our own independent journeys.

I’m sorry my taste in music
didn’t impress you more
or at all.
I’m sorry that my taste in you
was equally unimpressive.

I’m sorry we didn’t work out.
I’m sorry we failed.
I was sorry for these things then, too
so I’m sorry it took me so long
to say it.
But better late than never, right?
Oh.
Right.

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