You know what I hate?
People.
People really burn my bunions.
People are the worst.

If I go out,
and I see people
humans, who have something to say,
with thoughts in their head,
with motherfucking OPINIONS…
it sticks in my craw.
It gestates my goat.
If I see people,
I turn around
and go the other way.

But the trouble with people,
those breeding Homo sapiens,
is that
when you go the other way
they’re there.
Those bipedal mammals are EVERYWHERE
and they are not quiet about it.
Frankly, they’re pretty showy.

They show up everywhere
with their shoes
and their glasses
and Zunes
(we get it. You’re tool-makers.
Get over yourselves!)
and lord over everybody else
with their religion
and extensive pregnancies
and inability to fuel up through photosynthesis
– I hate them.
It’s as simple as that.

But
that’s me.
If you approve of humanity,
that’s your particular bellwether to hoe.
Feel free
but understand this:
If we ever get together,
you are simply not permitted
to ever invite them to my place.